respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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