Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
