They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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