I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
