everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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