Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
