i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
