So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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