I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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