I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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