i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
