it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am spending my child support on dildos
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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