im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
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Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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