dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you traded sex for a burrito?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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