and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
