I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize