i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
