when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
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This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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