Just cropdusted the office
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's official drugs can't kill me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
