Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
