would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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