she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
