You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
