She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
