3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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