found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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