if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize