dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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