You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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