my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
