While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize