Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
