Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
