he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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