My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
