Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
