I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
3pm strippers are depressing
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
