we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
