"it" just moved
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Edward fifth and chaser hands
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize