Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
