You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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