remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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