Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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