some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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