explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
we're so committed to being not committed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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