During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment