I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
