Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Randomize
