I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
