another moral hangover. fuck.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
