Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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