dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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