why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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