I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
