You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
