3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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