i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
