Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
