Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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